Give Me a Vacation
Nobody ever looked very happy on their vacations and I had
begun to think vacations were wasted on these
people.
Somebody like me, I would know what to do on a vacation. Me
and Merle, we'd come in and order the halibut. We'd eat
crab, if they had it. We'd have oysters first. We'd drink
and we'd look out the window. We wouldn't worry about
calories and we wouldn't count our pennies. We wouldn't
stare straight ahead like we were waiting to be executed.
We wouldn't roll our eyes and look like we hated each
other. We'd talk and he'd tell me a joke, maybe. I'd tell
him a story. We'd eat dessert. We wouldn't tell the
waitress how fat we were getting.
We'd tell her thank you. We wouldn't act like she was
invisible. Every time she came to the table, we'd say thank
you.
We'd wouldn't shout to her from across the room or wave our
hands at her. We'd eat all our food and we'd eat all our
dessert and we'd order another drink and then we'd get a
coffee and we'd leave a big tip when we left and then we'd
go to a motel.
If somebody gave me a vacation, I'd know what to do with
it.
This is part of a novel and novels, everybody knows, are
fiction but this part is true.