You’re Not Supposed to Talk About Tipping

I never understood why the French didn’t read a guidebook before coming here so that they could find out about tipping. They didn’t tip.

Some of my co-workers said they were only pretending not to know about our tipping custom, but I thought that was a cynical viewpoint. It was a big debate at the restaurant and it came up every time we got French people. They always looked good when they sat down, well dressed, sophisticated, ready for a good time, but then they opened their mouths and their waitresses’ heart sank. “They’re French!” She would report mournfully to the other waitresses back in the kitchen.

Technicians were among the worst tippers, right up there with senior citizens. I hate to say this but teachers are terrible tippers, too. You got a table of teachers and forget it, they’d leave you 10 percent at most. It was as if they were trying to do their part in proving the point that without a good education, you can’t expect to make a decent living.